"What is that noise."
"Sorry, my throat itches."
"You better not be getting sick. I don't want to be a part of that."
"I'm not, don't worry."
The next morning you wake up, sick. Of course. You suffer through, it seems to be only a minor cold after all.
The day after waking up sick you enter full on Zombie mode. You think you may have spent several hours walking around Versailles? Possibly you went to Monet's house in Givernigig, Givniver, Givgishishmobonkin. Something like that.
Then again, it may all have been a weird dream.
As your "concerned" roommate, J insists you go to a doctor, or take some medicine.
"I want my body to build up its immune system, I'll be fine it's not that bad."
Zombie phase continues.
At some point you saw some castle thing Napoleon built? This may have been the day before Versailles, it may have been after, hell it could have been the same day. Zombie mode is not a keeper of time or places. This was a place for injured veterans and invalids? Perhaps that has something to do with the Metro stop you may or may not remember. While leaving this place Jane makes a comment in her ever so soothing British accent. "Robyn, you don't look well. Are you feeling all right?"
"Just a small cold."
"Perhaps you should go see a doctor just incase."
"I'll be fine, lots of sleep."
"Alright, if you think you can manage then great. It's better to not have to see a doctor that way your body will be prepared come winter."
"Yeah."
"But if you do decide you do need a doctor, just stop by the office and I will call and set up an appointment for you. Ok?"
You have no words left in your sick little throat. So you nod.
At some point during The Sickness you take a test. A French language placement test, or something. You had to write an essay about an invention that changed the 20th century, or was it the 21st? Either way you remember writing ordinateur and wi-fi several times, including a grammatically incorrect horribly spelled statement about how schools, governments, and businesses all benefit from the magical wi-fi/ordinateur combination. The only thing your are certain about is that you left two sections blank, and couldn't remember your French phone number/address, J helped you find the first, and then when she wasn't looking you copied the second down as well.
You then felt guilty for "cheating" on the "What is your local address?" question that was less of a question and more of a "let us own your life" opportunity.
You don't remember knowing the answer to a single one of the multiple choice questions, so you did what they specifically may have possibly told you not to do: you guessed. Then your people gently shepherded you into a line for the oral examination. You mustered every last bit of energy and brain power to explain to your confused looking professor why you seemed so odd and confused.
"Je suis malade."
"Où?"
????
"Where, where are you sick."
"Oh my uh, my, je ne sais pas le mot. . ." You gesture.
"La gorge?"
"Oui."
(Non-sick you knew that answer.)
Somehow you make it home at eventually you start to feel better. Several days after the test you discover that by some weird fluke you tested into the third level of the second level*. Elementary 13. You are happy to not be in a Beginners level, but aware that you would be better suited for Elementary 15, the lowest Elementary level. This is confirmed when classes begin, but after a discussion with Danica about grade transfers and what you hope to gain from the class you decided to stay with the slightly more difficult/out of your comprehension class in hopes that you will gain more from it. Danica thinks that if you apply yourself you will be able to test into the intermediate level next semester and will therefor be eligible for actual French lecture courses.
The challenge is accepted, but you still question how Zombie you managed to test into a higher level when Post Zombie you doesn't even remember what the majority of the test was about.
A tout à l'heure,
Vicarious Paris
Ordinateur [Or-din-AH-ter]- that magical device known in English as a computer.
Wi-Fi (often but not always pronounced [Wee-Fee]- Wi-Fi
Je suis malade [jze swee ma-lahd]- I am sick.
Où? [Ooo (as in Ooo-Ahhhhhh!)]- Where?
"Oh my uh, my, je ne sais pas le mot. . ." [oh my uh, my, jze nuh say pa le moe]- "Oh my uh, my, I don't know the word. . ."
"La gorge?" [La gor-g (like gorgeous without the us)]- "The throat?"
Oui [we]- Yes.
*There are five main levels. In ascending order they are Beginner, Elementary, Intermediate, Advanced, and Superior (for those fluent enough to sound like a native speaker.) Each of these levels has five interior or sub levels and I THINK (mais je ne sais pas) that they are (in ascending order) 15, 14, 13, 12, and 11. Yes, i said ascending order, in this case 11 is the highest sub level, 15 the lowest.
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