Tu comprends?

Walk in, careful not to trip on the single step by the door. Smile, these are your new friends after all. That little nod they gave in return proves that you are not the only one who's tired. Take your usual seat in the small rectangular class, the first one, there on the left, between the corner and the heater, next to the broken one with the broken desk. Maybe you should exchange your seat for the broken one, so that your neighbor will be pleasantly surprised when all of her notebooks don't slide off. Too bad she's right behind you, you've been with her since you rushed in late to breakfast.

Coffee is not a meal.

Despite the fact that the two of you are on completely different French levels, you're secretly glad she's in your class. It's nice to have a friend near by, even one so new.

Together you greet the teacher. "Bonjour!" The teacher is filled with so much energy that you sit up a bit straighter. You want to impress her, because you want her to realize that you appreciate all that she is teaching you. You remember the warnings that the AIFS advisors gave you, "Your teachers will not be like you had back home, they will be blunt, they will correct you, and you may find them mean or rude. That is just the way, don't fret." She is not like this at all. She smiles, and laughs, she makes jokes, and yet can correct your pronunciation without making you feel stupid, yeah you definitely are going to regret not having her as a teacher in Paris.

The lesson has begun while you were thinking, you look over at J's desk to see what page you should be on... cent seize. You flip through trying to find it, the whole class may not make sense if you miss this first part. You find it, but you're tired, you don't understand what she's saying, it's all in French. You try hard to focus. You think that was "le verbe," perhaps you hear "le pronom," wait what about the Passé Compossé? Is that done now?

The class continues the page is turned, you missed the directions to do so, once again J's book provides you with the right number. Now you hear and vaguely understand the directions you have come to recognize as the signal for the class to complete an exercise out loud. Each student answering a question in turn.  You stare at your page trying to decipher the French directions for the French grammar lesson you didn't understand. "Tu comprends Robyn?" No, you don't but there are 11 others in your class, you can tell they are looking at you so you keep your head down and lift your left hand, palm towards the ground and twist it slightly from left to right signaling "comme ce comme ca," an on the fence gesture that says "I know it, but I'm not confident I know it." She understands that it really means "I have no clue what's going on, but I don't want my peers to laugh at me."

She explains the main points again, but slower, you start to get the basic concepts, J watches your face as well to translate under her breath when you really get confused. You think you understand enough to participate in the exercise. "Ahhh, oui, oui je comprends."

The exercise starts and you quickly count out the people who will go in front of you to find which question will  be yours. Shit. You will be the first person to answer a question in whatever exercise she choses next. You scan the page trying to answer the first question of each exercise before they get to you, but you don't understand the concepts enough to answer them in time. One ear is listening to the answers that the others give, trying to find some sort of life raft that will save you once your turn arrives, but you get distracted, and now all eyes turn to you as you are assigned exercise 4. You read off the directions out loud, but you have no clue what the words you say mean, you could be condemning an innocent man to death and still you would blindly proceed, fingers crossed in hopes that your accent is not too thick. You slowly read the example, hoping to soak up its secret. Now you read the question, you recognize some of the words as you say them, it's asking if your husband got you flowers, but you don't know how to phrase the answer so you stall, "comment ce dit cet "mari" en anglais" you don't even think that you phrased the question properly, the teacher translates the entire sentence into english, you can tell she is frustrated you start slowly, she asks questions, each answer providing the next word in the sentence, eventually the answer appears and you sigh. Done. J'ai fini. J easily answers the next one and the class continues, but you look at the clock and know that there are still 2 and a half hours of class left today. . . (to be continued.)

A tout à l'heure,

Vicarious Paris

Bonjour [bon-jor] - hello/good day


cent seize [sont says] - 116


le verbe [le verb]- the verb


le pronom [le pro-nohm]- the pronoun


passé composé [pass-a compose-a]- the past tense


Tu comprends? [too com-prond] - Do you understand?


comme ce comme ca [comb-see comb-saw] - an answer used to determine how a person is doing, often in response to the customary greeting "Comment ça va?" which asks "How are you?" It is the indifferent response, both it and the accompanying hand gesture essentially mean "neither bad nor good," aka, in the middle.


Ahhh, oui, oui je comprends [Ah, we, we jzu com-prond] - Ahh yes, yes, I understand.


comment ce dit cet "mari" en anglais? [comm-o say dee say ma-ri on ohng-lay]- a rather American way of asking how to say a word or phrase in English, often used among students to discern the meaning of a new term, or to help find a word they do not know if "anglais" is replaced with "français." Roughly translates to "how is "insert word or phrase" said in English/French?" In our case it is most likely spelt wrong and or being used improperly.


J'ai fini [Jzay fin-ee]- I have/am finished.